Communication

This week we have been discussing communication. Communication is vital in families and it must start with the husband and wife in marriage.

In my family growing up we didn’t communicate a lot. I talked with my mom a lot about things that were going on with me and I was able to talk to her pretty easy unless there was a problem. If there was a problem in the family that’s when communication stopped which is ironic because that is when it should be the strongest. I remember when my older siblings were going through a lot of problems in their marriages all of us kids knew that something was wrong but my parents rarely said anything about it to us. If we asked they shrugged it off and would kind of sweep it under a rug. It was so frustrating to me to not be able to talk about things and to not be able to simply discuss it with my parents. I craved to be able to talk openly and ask questions about things I didn’t understand and to receive support from them but it didn’t happen.

It was always a pet peeve of mine that we didn’t talk. I hated it. I felt that it brought a barrier between my parents and us. I especially seemed to have a problem with it because I seek to have open communication and to know what is going on. It makes me feel better than to be left in the dark. I can think of countless times that I tried to talk to my mom about things but she never responded much. When I got older we were able to talk a little more but there is still a point where I know she’s not going to go past. It’s sad to me that we can’t get past that point too. We can talk about anything unless it’s a sensitive or upsetting problem. Then the doors close.

With my children I want to do something different. We always talk about how if we aren’t aware of things we’ll do the same as our family did. I have become aware of this and I want to make a change for my family. I try to do it now with my husband but it’s hard because all I’ve really seen is to just let things go unsaid and act as if they aren’t there. Sometimes I don’t want to bring things up with my husband but I remember my ultimate goal of how I want my family to be. That always keeps me going and helps me to make changes.